Hyperemesis Gravidarum sucks, stop telling me every pregnancy is different!

Hyperemesis Gravidarum sucks, stop telling me every pregnancy is different!

Hyperemesis gravidarum is different for everyone, yet miserable for everyone who has it.

Have you heard of hyperemesis gravidarum? It’s freaking miserable! Like so terrible! I can’t explain my fear of HG except to tell you my kid is 2 and I’m still petrified by the thought of being pregnant.

I guess Izzy is that age now where everyone wants to know if we are having more. So hearing the questions and comments is what pushed me to write this post.

Don’t know much about HG? You can google it and find out a lot. You may have heard about it when Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge was pregnant and suffered with HG both times.

Okay so try having a flu that makes you puke daily or all day one day and then just a little nauseous the next and this goes on for 9 months. Does that sounds fun to you?

Sorry to be blunt, but it F*CKING sucks!

I cried so many times during my pregnancy.

I puked so much I needed a change of pants with me because I started peeing my pants while puking as I reached the middle-end of my pregnancy. Talk about humiliating. 

When a woman who had HG thinks about having another child they have to decide. Do we have the finances for someone to take care of the child we already have or having family that can help. Are we prepared for the possible hospital visits. Emotionally and physically can the couple handle the strain of this sickness? Am I okay with the fact that my child will in a way suffer from not having mommy’s attention. Who is going to take over all the tasks I do as a mom.

For me I grocery shop, cook, do laundry and clean up. I take care of Izzy 24-7 and we really are not in a situation that we could have 24-7 help with Izzy and all these chores. I also have extreme guilt when I think about pretty much missing out on almost a year of her life. Did you know if you had HG that you have well over a 50% chance of getting HG again?

I’m so sick of hearing people say, “Next time it might be better.” or “Every pregnancy is different.” So, so easy for you to say if you never had HG. I suffered from severe vomiting and nausea the entire pregnancy (even on 2 medications). I even threw up during labor.

Most people I know who had HG, it got WORSE each pregnancy. I honestly can’t imagine it being worse.

I lost weight during my pregnancy early on and was told to drink ensure to up my protein. I was also told to drink fatty milkshakes and to eat canned veggies for the sodium. Mostly I sipped on ensure & ginger ale, licked the salt off saltines and puked.

People told me, “You looked so good, I gained so much weight”. Guys, I gained a total of 15 lbs during my pregnancy.. secret weapon… HG (but I promise it’s not worth being all bump).

I just have to say, please inform yourself and don’t be so uneducated when someone tells you they have had a severe condition.

HG is no joke and I’m sorry for all the woman out there who have suffered from it.

PLEASE DO NOT ask me when or if I’m having more and that it might be different this time. It’s not a definite no, but we are pretty sure one child is just perfect for us. We are happy with our healthy, bright, kind, outgoing and gorgeous little girl.

Lastly, REALLY I don’t want to hear, “But wasn’t Izzy so worth it?” Are you F*UCKING kidding me? Of course she was! Does that mean I’d like to put her, myself and my family through me being sick all over again? As I stated above, there is a lot to consider when you have had HG.

I hope this was informative so you can better understand the emotions and thoughts from someone who suffered from HG and if you had it, maybe you can relate to my experiences.

XO Eryka

66 thoughts on “Hyperemesis Gravidarum sucks, stop telling me every pregnancy is different!”

    • They don’t fully know what causes it yet, but assume it’s from high levels of hormones. It can be helped with medications but they don’t always keep you from puking or feeling sick. It’s a condition of severe vomiting and nausea

    • Hyperemesis Gravidarum is a severe disease that less than 3% of all pregnant women suffer from. People aren’t sure what causes it, but its characterized by severe nausea and vomiting, dehydration, electrolyte imbalance, and at least a 5-10% weight loss at a minimum. There are a handful of medications that can be prescribed IF you’re lucky enough to be treated by an OBGYN that not only recognizes HG, but UNDERSTANDS the in’s and outs of the disease. But let me tell you, it’s horrible. From 4-6 weeks up until delivery for many women it’ nonstop constant vomiting and nausea. But make no mistake this is not just a physical disease. HG is linked with anxiety, depression, PTSD, and often times extreme guilt. Women who go untreated or undiagnosed can and have DIED. Some women end up aborting planned and wanted pregnancies because of the mental and emotional strain this horrible, traumatic strain it put on them and their loved ones. This disease is no joke, and if someone you know tells you they’ve had it, please don’t patronize them or make them feel small by associating it to morning sickness. Please don’t even call it “severe” morning sickness like some doctors and websites suggest. It’s not. It’s truthful so far beyond that, that it’s not even funny.

      • It’s truly a very tough disease to battle. The biggest reason my child is 4 & still has no siblings. I just couldn’t do it again. I’m petrified to be pregnant.

  • Love this honest and real post! I’m so sorry you had this horrible condition that didn’t allow you to enjoy your pregnancy. I have never heard of it until I read your post but it sounds so miserable I can’t imagine having gone through what you did.
    You’re amazing and I love your transparency in this piece!

  • Bottom line is that no one knows what’s best for you and your family better than you! I was sick every day and vomited several times a day for the first trimester with both and a little bit into the second but I am thankful that I can say there was a stopping point. Even still, it was such an incredibly taxing and difficult situation for the time it did last and nothing worked to alleviate it. Even with a couple hospital trips, people still try to tell me how I should be feeling..

    To experience that everyday for the entire pregnancy is devastating I’m sure. Izzy is such a sweetheart and as long as your family is happy that’s all that matters!

  • My kidlets are 19 & 22 and I had no idea what HG was back then but I wouldn’t want a 3rd (really a 4th but another story) pregnancy and being nauseous 24/7/ Currently nauseous 24/7 with several chronic illnesses that I wouldn’t wish this on anyone – EVER!

    Whatever your parenting choice, may you choice for you and your family…


    • Awe thank you so much for this heartfelt comment! You have no idea how much it means you took the time to tell me this! ❤ love to your and your family

  • I’m so glad you wrote this!! I’ve had friends go through this and it’s miserable I’ve been by how insensitive some people can be!

    • Thank you! It’s wild that people just seem to dismiss it and don’t realize how serious it is

  • I totally understand. I just had my third, and unfortunately, my HG did get worse with each pregnancy. No medications really helped so I’d often just take the ones that knocked me out so I could sleep and not be miserable. It’s hard. So hard. And the people commenting about how lucky I was to be so small…I’d trade the being tiny for not puking and being hospitalized any day. I’m lucky that my mom helped me a ton and my kids watched way too much tv and ate way too many happy meals this last pregnancy. No one knows what’s best for your family but your family.

    • Thank you so much for this comment! I appreciate hearing your thoughts and hearing from someone who understands the struggles of HG. Without support it really is so hard to think about having HG with a child already. Thank you again! It means so much

  • My nausea and sever food aversions with both of my girls for the first trimester is enough to make me not want more (plus, we always planned for 2) but I can’t imagine how miserable HG is! Do what’s best for you, girl!

    • Thank you for your support Shannon I appreciate it so much! It really is tough feeling sick for so long.

  • Ugh, I am always so sorry to hear of another mother having gone through this. I wouldn’t wish HG on my worst enemy! I had it with all 3 of my kids. The second and third were only better because I knew what it was and got on Zofran immediately instead of trying saltines and ginger, etc. They say catching it earlier helps…Oh! And knowing that water really triggered it for me, and mixing liquids and solids…I digress. I really wish it were worth it to someone to research it, but as we know with most things that affect women, it probably won’t for another who knows how long. The tears, the praying for it to go away (but not to the extent of taking away my baby). In any case, so glad more moms are talking about it! It’s a real thing and not just morning sickness. And the “You look great”s I got after losing 20 pounds in the first trimester really were something else…Hugs to you!

    • Frances thank you for your amazing words and thoughts. Zofran was my life saver as well. I joke Izzy was made on ginger ale and saltines because I couldn’t really drink water either. I’m so glad to have reached you & hope this post reaches many more people! Thank you & love to you for 3 pregnancies with HG.

      • I am currently going through HG, this is my second pregnancy in 11 years. I really taught I would not have more kids after having HG during my first pregnancy. I am 10 weeks and I have been in the hospital twice to get IV fluids. I have been having a really hard time getting the meds that helped me during my first pregnancy because my Dr says that Zofran causes birth defects. I do feel frustrated because nothing else they have prescribed has worked.

      • I took Zofran & diclegis I think I’d the other one. Both while pregnant. My dr claimed they were both safe & my daughter didn’t have any birth defects. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Not to say your dr is wrong. I was still puking & nauseous- but they made it a tad more manageable. Hugs to you

  • Oh girl, I can’t imagine how terrible all of that was! And although I pick with you sometimes about having a second, I totally respect you doing what’s best for your family. Thanks for this honest post!

    • Thank you Stephanie for your sweet words! I want sure if I should hit publish on this one, but I’m glad I did

  • I am so sorry you had to endure such thing being pregnant, a moment where you’re suppose to be enjoying every bit of it and not be feeling so miserable. Only YOU and your husband knows what is best for your family. Big hug to you mama! Thank you for sharing such a personal experience.

    • Thanks you Nicole. It was pretty miserable. I got a good prize at the end, but it was a long 9 months.

  • Oh my, this was very emotional post, I had bad morning sickness for the first trimester and was thinking why do people get pregnant! Of course after reading this your experience was far more traumatic than I ever imagined anyone would go through, I am really sorry that you had gone through that, I also had a traumatic birth experience that made me feel like one baby is enough there are so many reasons For a woman to decide whats the best for everyone in her family. you are a great mother I learn from you every day. thanks for sharing this I had no idea about HG ?

    • Thanh you so much for taking the time to write to me. I’m so sorry about your thought first trimester and birth experience. It all can be so overwhelming because I think ppl sugar coat birth and pregnancy. Thank you for your compassion.

  • HG sufferer here, currently 33 weeks with no signs of it stopping. Little did I know until I was 4 months along, but both my mother and grandmother had HG multiple times. Your post hit the nail on the head. There have been many ignorant, insensitive comments from family and friends, and telling them that my doc has already agreed to a tubal ligation has done nothing to stop them. In fact, credit to my doc for agreeing to the surgery, but it wasn’t until I informed him of my family medical history that he finally shut up and stopped telling me that it would go away.

    I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stand the taste of ginger ale or saltines again. I miss eating normal things, not having to worry about taking meds with me or finding a garbage can to puke in. I miss not having to do the guessing game of, ‘do I need to burp or hurl’ and the second game of ‘do I have time to get to the meds before I hurl’.

    My fiance didn’t understand how bad it was until I ended up in the hospital on fluids for it. I wish people would take the time to consider moms as actual human beings instead of just incubators that pop cute babies out (or at least it seems that way), because being told that I ought to go through the dehydration, vomiting, nausea, hospital visits, cancelling work, laying on the couch from sheer exhaustion, etc. just so I can make another baby so my kid ‘isn’t lonely’ (you kidding?? He has close on a dozen cousins) or just because I’m ‘so cute’ when I’m pregnant ?. Are you for real? Do you think I did this because I cared what I looked like? Do you think I care what your opinion of the size of my butt is? Unbelievable.

    Apologies, having HG has led to some tense moments recently.

    • Thank you for your lengthy comment! They are my favorite! I love hearing others stories and finding people that I can relate with. I’m so sorry you are going through this, it’s truly miserable. No one in my family had HG so I didn’t even know much about it or think I would even have to deal with something like that. You know what’s right for you and your family. Ya I got a lot of comments about how good I looked pregnant and girls said they would rather be sick than gain the 50lbs they gained. They just have no idea.

  • I had HG with my daughter (my first hospital admission was at 6 weeks pregnant) and moving my head to either side used to make me puke. I had to keep deathly still. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I sobbed every day for months. Thankfully, it responded well to medication, which kept it fairly manageable as long as I was careful about what I ate.

    I ended up accidentally pregnant with my son when my daughter was only 6 months old. Finding out was awful, I did want another baby but had NO idea how to cope, and I was terrified of what was coming. I don’t know if I could have done it again by choice. I called my doctor that day and we made a plan, which eased my anxiety a lot. And in the end, I was incredibly fortunate and didn’t have HG the second time.

    This definitely isn’t supposed to fall under the ‘oh but you might not get it again!’ post, because I completely understand your fears. Completely. Just wanted you to have a happy story in case of ‘surprises’ you wanted to continue with. But I will never, ever judge any one with HG for any choices they make. You do what suits YOU.

    • I loved hearing your happy story! We are still so on the fence. My fear and anxiety about getting pregnant again is also intense. Thank you for sharing this with me.

  • Oh gosh, I had no where near what you went through, just severe nausea and enough vomiting to make me quit my job in the first 2 months of my pregnancy. The worst of it lasted until about I was 18 weeks but sometimes it rears it’s ugly head. The questions, assumptions and speculations I received from people when I did quit my job was enough to make me want to throw boxes of saltines and cans of ginger ale at people. I was so angry sometimes and felt so misunderstood. People would say things like, “Well I puke at work. It will get better. Are you going back to work?” I would just want to scream. I’ve read cases of HG where women felt suicidal because the suffering was so horrendous. And you know what, I don’t judge that one bit because nobody knows what it’s like to go through that kind of sickness except the person experiencing it themselves. Enjoy the heck out of your little girl and God bless you and your family. Thank you for sharing so honestly!

    • Thank you for reaching out! It’s nice to hear from other people who had HG & know I’m not alone. People would say things like that to me too. “Oh it’s because she’s a girl.” Lol um no it’s because I have a condition. I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. Thank you again for the response. I appreciate it

  • I had HG, and as a result my daughter had severe IUGR and weighed 3 lbs 6 oz at 36 weeks. She is now 8, and I am still too scared to have another. I still get the same questions and unsolicited advice from people. I will not risk my time with my daughter, our financial stability, or the life of a new baby to hopefully have a “normal” pregnancy. I wish people could learn to stop asking ANY woman these questions, you have no idea what has led to their decision not to have more babies, or if they’re even able to.

  • Thanks for sharing your experience, although I am sorry you suffered during your pregnancy it was so nice to read a post i related so much to. I am currently pregnant with my second little girl (due any day) and both times were total misery! I was lucky enough to get some relief by around the 5th month each time though. I was also lucky that my employer was very understanding when I had to go to the ER or take a few days off or work outside of the office when i was at my worst- continuing to work while I was sick was the hardest thing I have accomplished in my professional career lol. I also felt so guilty not being able to eat or drink enough and worried that would harm my babies. My oldest is two and i had just been promoted to a very demanding position when I found out I was expecting again. I was literally a little mad at my husband at first because he had casually brought up having another baby but I knew I could get that sick again or it could be worse and it absolutely was! Both of my little ones are well worth it but the pure torture of being that ill while balancing your existing family and responsibilities is not something to take lightly – and there’s no reason that everyone has to have multiple children! We are so excited to meet little sis but before she came along one child was perfectly ok with us:)

    • Loved reading your response! So glad both babes are healthy & good luck with the delivery of baby #2. It’s something not enough people talk about so it can be isolating when ppl think you are just being dramatic. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a comment & allowing me to connect with you.

  • I also had it during my first pregnancy. I lost 17 pounds in 21 days. I was actually wearing my ‘skinny jeans’ (I could not fit those before pregnancy) at 5 months pregnant. I couldn’t drink water without vomiting. I had to crawl to the bathroom just so I could pee….I was so weak. I would shower and wash the ‘important parts’ and then immediately lay on the floor to catch my breath before drying off. Once, I woke up on the floor with pain on my right cheek…apparently I blacked out and hit a wall. No one understood.
    As soon as I found out I was pregnant with baby number two, I immediately got on zofran. For me personally, this was the best thing ever. I took it for 8 months and had a very decent pregnancy.
    Six years later (at age 40), surprise! Baby number three is on the way. I had nausea (not HG), but I was determined to do it on no nausea meds due to my age and risks for the baby. The nausea went away after 13 weeks. No HG.
    You should do what’s best for you and your family. I would encourage you to think (just maybe) about pregnancy again, because I’m old (LOL…now I’m 42) and I am so happy my children have each other. God always makes a way. We’ve been through so much (not just HG) and I promise you…no matter what it was…God always made a way. Best wishes to you and your lovely family! So not telling you what to do…HG is the WORST! Just hoping that if you do decide to get pregnant, it’s so much better for you.

    • Thank you! It’s nice to hear a story of the second baby being so much better. Zofran unfortunately didn’t help me much. It’s exciting to hear someone say it was a better experience the second time around.

  • I wish I could hug you. Thank you for this… seriously. I’ve just gotten to the third trimester and I’m already likely to smack the next person who comments about my HG. I cannot imagine going through this again. Thanks for making me feel less alone 🙂

    • Shay, thank you for connecting with me! It’s a very isolating feeling & I️ still get questions about having more kids. People tell me still that it might be different. They don’t fully understand it’s a risk I️ don’t want to take. You are not alone!!❤️

  • Stumbled across this and had to comment. My son is now 4 and I suffered with HG. When all was said and done I lost 32 pounds (finished my pregnancy about 10 pounds BELOW where I started). It took me literally a few years to get my strength back. Now I feel ready to face another but my husband is not. People really don’t understand. The fact is I was basically in bed for several months. If I didn’t have a work at home job, I would have surely been fired or forced to quit. And the odds are something like 86% you will get it again (often worse). So no, when it comes to HG every pregnancy is NOT different. And I had people say things like oh I know how you feel I was really sick too. Well, no, if you still managed to gain 40 pounds or so during those 9 months, you don’t get it!!!!

    • It’s so true, I would have lost my job if I wasn’t home. It was so terrible. I’m petrified still about getting pregnant and my daughter is 3.5 years now. I’m so sorry you went through that

  • You are speaking my heart. I felt the EXACT same way after giving birth to my first child. Unfortunately, I didn’t listen to myself. I allowed the “Don’t you want Oliver to have a brother or sister?” and the “Every pregnancy is different!” and the “But look at Ollie. He was so worth it!” comments to get the best of me. I’m almost 8 weeks pregnant today, and I’m beyond miserable. I have no time to be a mom, a wife, a teacher, a friend, because my life is consumed by my illness. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy to become a mom of two, but I don’t think this was the best route for our family to grow. But here we are, suffering as a family because Mommy is always sick or sleeping. I can’t even go into the refrigerator to get Oliver some juice because the smell makes me puke. How can I possibly get my loved ones to understand that what I’m experiencing is not a matter of willpower; it is a physical and mental obstacle course that seems to want to beat the crap out of me on a daily basis? Thank you for sharing.

    • I am so sorry and relate.. I have been back and forth in my head & in discussion with my husband about trying for #2. I have imagined your struggles in my mind. I can’t even imagine. You are amazing & what you feel & how terrible you feel physically & from that, mentally is real. Be easy on yourself, sending lots of love!

    • This is exactly where I am now. Literally your comment word for word describes my current situation, down to not being able to open the fridge to get my daughter some juice. I thought this time would be better. I believed everyone who said the second time is easier. I know it will be worth it once the baby is born, but the all-consuming illness and the guilt have stolen all my joy, and I am just praying to make it through each day.

      • Agh I am so sorry! I can’t imagine going through that with a little one. Hugs to you mama!

  • I found your post just recently and I love, love, love this! I’m currently 17 weeks and from the moment I was 6 weeks the nausea and vomiting have not stopped. I feel it got even worse the moment I hit 12 weeks and I’ve had to go to ER for IV infusions for fluid and so forth so much.. any medication I take my body builds a tolerance to after 2-3 days and the one that did work Odansetron, I had an allergic reaction to (go figure) so I’m hoping tomorrow at my doctor’s appointment we’ll figure something out. The frustration has really hit the nail for me with the “advice” I’ve gotten towards my HG. My own grandmother the other night at dinner said “oh you just have to make sure you’re drinking lots of water. Lots and lots of water that’s why you’re dehydrated” it took all my being to not jump across the table after I had just explained I haven’t been able to keep anything down, especially water ? thank you for this post it has definitely made me feel much less alone in this hearing your story ❤️

    • It was an isolating feeling because, ppl who don’t go through it have no idea how terrible it is. I’m so glad you found some relief & connection in my post. I’m sending virtual hugs to you!

  • Thank you! I feel like people don’t understand everything women with HG have to consider and how much it really f*ing sucks. It was horrible, I can’t even explain it. I literally couldn’t function and there is just no way I could take care of my child while having HG. No matter how much Id like to think so, the only reason I made it through my HG pregnancy is because I wasn’t working or in school or busy with another child. I just layed in bed or the bathroom floor feeling miserable, waiting for it to go away. Hoping tomorrow would be better and crying more than ever in my life. But when I tell ppl they simply assume I just don’t want to go through the “discomfort” of morning sickness. HG is not just minor discomfort it’s pure hell. Thanks so much for sharing and to all HG moms, I know your pain. Hugs.

    • I understand & agree. It was terrible & I swear I have PTSD from it. I’m petrified to be pregnant again. I have nightmares. ? hugs to you!!

      • Thank you for taking the time to reply. It is definitely a real struggle. My heart goes out to you. Hopefully in time there will be better treatment or even better a cure.

  • I am so sorry you went through this, it really is pure torture and most people don’t seem to understand how bad it really is and how much it affects ones life. I was currently thinking of having another baby, it’s been on my mind for over a year but I KNOW I just can’t it’s not that I don’t want another baby, or that I don’t think a child is worth it. It’s that it really is not possible, I have to take care of my daughter, things at home, go to school & I WANT another baby so bad. I tried to convince my self that if I piled up on things so I didn’t have to go to the store much, and got all types of otc remedies, and helped my 9 year old be a little more independent that I could get through it, but then I got sick and I remembered even more clearly how it was. I know I couldn’t even get up to take her to school on time. It’s just not doable for me. It hurts when people don’t understand but no one really knows how bad it is unless they went thru it. Thank you for this beautiful, honest post. It really helps bring comfort as well as bring awareness. I feel like most people think just because I CAN get pregnant that it is MY CHOICE but when HG TAKES OVER YOUR LIFE and you don’t have the support or resources it’s just not do-able. I wanted to think I could but in my circumstances right now it’s not realistic, it’s not whats best for my husband or my daughter or my health. Big hugs!

  • Thank you for this post! I am currently going through this and I never in my life thought that pregnancy would be an awful experience. We have tried for over 3 (almost 4) years for this and every other day I think I should’ve gotten an abortion. I’m bipolar and my meds aren’t staying down, but the emotional strain this has taken on me has been absolutely devastating. I’m 6 months pregnant (24 weeks now) and still have room in my norma jeans. Nothing stays down and I have only been a max of 2 days without throwing up since week 4. People keep telling me “eat crackers, sip Sprite” or “have you tried…?” and it takes everything in my power not to throat punch them. I have not even started shopping for this little girl yet (she’s my first and I will be 37 next month) because I’ve been too sick and I just can’t get excited. HG has honestly stolen all my joy.

    • I’m so sorry you are going through this. It’s truly a difficult time. I was so excited to be pregnant & it was pretty tough & miserable at times. Hugs to you! ?

  • Came across this today and I can RELATE. Curious if you ever had more or continued to stay the course with one? As a fellow HG sufferer I’m torn between giving my now 2 year old a sibling and the crippling fear of living that way again for 9 very very long months. I think the fear will win out but curious now that a few years have gone by since you wrote this if you took the plunge.

    • Hi, my daughter is about to turn 6 and we did not have any more children. We have been enjoying being a family of 3.

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